EVERYONE OVER 30 MUST DIE: 2008

9/22/08

Something got through.

9/19/08

fyi, michel gondy youtube clips are not creative direction.

stop it. it is no longer cool to reference michel gondry. nor is it acceptable creative direction to tell me to "watch one of his videos and then go write something like that." that is not creative direction. that is you reliving the 90s and that douchey massive attack discovery period when you cheated on your wife the first time.

p.s. in case you haven't noticed, our budgets have been cut in half since your heyday, and we're being asked to do twice as much for half the cost. gondry-rate budgets do not exist anymore. wake up and smell your 30s.

7/11/08

over 30, no purple sunglasses

please. lets stop this now. no one over 30 in advertising should wear purple glasses.

7/9/08

Production trips = wine appreciation classes?

So I've been fortunate enough to sell work and go on shoot a few times. And something that annoys any and all of the bejeezus I might still contain is the drinking habit of 30+ advertisers. Somehow, a corporate tab mixing with a lack of personal responsibility is a perfect storm that results in holy-shit pretense that's too damned thick to be cut with the fucking Ginsu knives used in the hoity-toity, self-important, upscale Benihana knock-offs they insist on eating at every night on production. Me, my partner (also under 30), our CD, producer, and director have dinner and between the three elders--whoops!--there goes $800 for four bottles of wine.

The real reason American's gives so little to civic causes abroad? The money exists, but it's given to 30+ advertisers who are less in touch with world issues than their apparent wine appreciation classes. Fuckers.

7/8/08

Hey! Look What I Found?

So they have this new web site out called Adsoftheworld.com, perhaps you've already heard about it? Apparently it's this great site where my CD's can post work and feel accomplished while sifting through a sea of disparagement submitted by second year ad students. Or maybe they're still in their first year, considering that's when I use to leave comments, three F*ckin' years ago!

In related news, they have these new things out called blogs...

6/26/08

Internal Review. 11a.m.

writer: and so that's it. we really love this idea.

creative director: this is a great idea but you know it needs... something.

account director: i agree. something really hip. that makes people...care.

creative director: what about a charity tie-in?

account director: yes! so great. people love charity. you know what's HUGE right now...

creative director: what?

account director: AIDS is HUGE right now. everyone is into it. brad, angelina, noah wylie.

creative director: AIDS is great. A great great fit. let's do AIDS.

writer: ...

6/25/08

Okay, okay - I'll be your friend you old fuck

Listen, I joined this thing to keep up my image as someone who is with it. I have cool friends who do cool things. I even know tons of really attractive chicks. But it's folks like you who kill my street cred. Can't we just keep our relationship exclusive to the agency and out of the digital world? OK - fine, I do realize the correlation between approved friend requests with killer briefs. You're damned if you don't and damned if you do.

6/23/08

The Bigger they are, the harder they...

FAIL!

DVD v Human

they say there is no room for us creatives to all have offices. but look here. what's this? i'll tell you what it is. it's a room filled with junk and a shelf containing some dvds.

its our dvd library see.

and when it gets to the point that a plastic dvd is more important than a person, resentment begins to come a' knocking.

6/18/08

6/17/08

You're Good, we get it already!

6/16/08

What we imagine ECD's are really doing on the Internet.

Googling themselves between meetings. That Ego isn't building itself.

6/12/08

Your Wife Won't Let Your Toys In The House.

We understand. You're forty. Give the toys to your kids.

The real One Show Winner? Youth.

Bravia brilliance
Gorilla ridonkulousness
Glass and Half Full experience

Trying too hard to look under thirty?

nah.

Cannes: French for Overthirties hitting on Underthirties.

Who's not having fun? Old People.

6/11/08

Rockstar's Latest Game.

6/6/08

LOOK HOW ON TOP OF THE TRENDS I AM

Look who just discovered Flight of the Conchords. We told him favorite FOTC video was for their song, Ripped Off By A Marketer. He's googling it now. I'm googling silencers.

$55 dollar Mac & Cheese!!!

I am so glad I have to fight to get reimbursed for my Redeye coach plane tickets, so you can get your pretentious grub on.
I hope you choke on it.

XTREME LAME!!!!!

"So yeah man, I going take my bike on some mad trails this weekend before I get out to Cali to rip some waves. What are you doin..."

Let's see, I'm finishing YOUR work, Jerkoff, so you can expense another "Scouting" production!

6/5/08

Recon from Cannes 2008

I've been tracking this 30+ douche for days. Stereotypical ACD. He's here, the juniors who actually did the work are at home. Working on his hacky campaign while he's out hitting on girl's half his age while calling his wife to complain how busy he is. Die.